Ok, and I seem to be back in business again. My e-mail is now
here again. That's all for now. Contra Comic this weekend maybe.
posted by Slade at 11:39 PM
Ok, so, yeah. I'm still alive, and not crazy anymore. I've managed to claw my way back from the edge of the pit of insanity. You'd be surprized at how fast anti-hallucinogens work once they enter the blood stream. At any rate, I was hastily pushed off line yesterday and 10:34 PM because my grandpa is probably dying. See, it's not enough that my other grandpa has to go blind, then have his intestine rot, and have a heart attack during sugery, and then two strokes. Of course not! In the grand scheme of things, that's not nearly enough to appease an angry vengeful deity during a year when he's grumpy, who hates me because I challenge his existance. No! My other grandpa has Diabetes and Parkinson's Disease too. He's had these for a while, and since he's mule-headed, he doesn't eat properly, and is a bit of a jerk to his wife, so she can't really stop him from eating a large continental breakfast every morning. Yes, bacon, two fried eggs, and buttered toast. Sure, he was bound to die eventually from those diseases due to his artery hardening diet; he's had two or three heart attacks, and been told to watch what he eats. He didn't. But then he started getting seizures. Last year when he had one, he got an MRI at the hospital, and they couldn't find anything wrong with his brain. But that couldn't be the end of it. A few days ago he had a grand mal seizure, and another MRI revealed a malignant brain tumor. What the chuffing smegging flaming bloody infernal cursed hell? Does Atropos have it out for the parents of my parents? Is it not enough that one disease has to kill them, but a combonation of three? Is my whole family cursed? I'm now more than a bit afraid to have children, less my dad suddenly develop melanoma, tuberculosis, contract ebola, and then get hit by a bus. Why is it my grandparents can't just live to a ripe old age of late eighty-something? Hasn't this man suffered enough by having poor circulation, needing someone to hold his food because his hands shake uncontrollably, and be a meanie? Why does he need flipping seizures now? And the wife of my other granddad was wifty before. Now her head is practically floating in the o-zone layer. The wife of the current dying grandfather is probably crying her eyes out. My aunt suffers from clinical depression, and lives with her parents, helping take care of them. How do you think she's feeling now? Is there no consideration? Why couldn't he just pass away quietly in his sleep from a heart attack or something? He's gotta live out his last moments incoherent and possibly thrashing around?
Then again, that's life. What's done is done. I may be somewhat of a fatalist, but I'm a grudging one. Shit happens, but I don't have to like it. And I try to make sure shit doesn't happen as much as possible.
Now, the comic. See, my aunt had to call my dad during the time I was finishing up uploading my comic, so I was rushed off. I don't blame my parents, since my dad's dad may die. Anywho, my initial plan was to release that comic on Tuesday as an April Fool's gag. You'll note that I kept saying I'd get a comic out on Tuesday. So I started doing it and was kicked off the computer so my sister could do her homework. No, I'm lying. I stopped early to go play some more Wind Waker. I admit it. I wouldn't have had much time Monday night though, because my dad monopolized the computer. And Tuesday as well. I couldn't keep him off for long. Ok, so the comic is written entirely in leet (or "133t") speak. It's designed completely crappily on purpose. It's a shame my joke got ruined. My next comic will be back to the regular stuff, and you'll get a glimpse at the plot. Fun fun fun! Really, you won't be dissapointed, unless you've already been. And if you were, you might as well just send me some hate mail now.
Oh, and my former web master got another web host, so he's going to re-host me, maybe. That is if the terms he's set for his new site are better than this site. See, he's only giving me 10MB web space (and my comics have taken up a little over one at this moment.), and there's some wierd complicated crappy file system I might have to use. I'm going to definatly use the free e-mail though. I don't need no steenking spam. That's all for now. This is your angry, cynical, depressed, jumbled (emotions) web master saying cheerio, and don't eat manhole covers.
posted by Slade at 12:28 PM
Hey, hey, Contra Comic 9 is up, go there from the links page and read about it. I gotta go, reasons explained tomorrow.
posted by Slade at 10:34 PM
Well, I had every intention of finishing my Contra Comic yesterday. Sadly, intentions are not actions. Yes indeed, my sister and my dad were busy talking to their friends and writing a book, respectively. It's slowly getting there, but I may re-do it because it looks really friggin' ugly.
Oh hey, I just found this chewed on notebook, which I vaguely remember using to write down my expierences with Zelda: The Wind Waker. I ended up blacking out too much and... you'll see.
Friday, 4:32 PM
It finally came! After months of anticipation, I can relish in the joys of the newest Zelda game!
4:35 PM
Holy crap, the graphics look kick ass. How long until I get my sword?
4:36 PM
Ok, time to go cut every single bush I see! Fear me, for I am Link!
7:17 PM
I'm not even at my first dungeon yet. This game is huge!
11:37 PM
Damn it, I have to turn the sound down so my parents can go to sleep.
Saturday, 3:55 AM
Definately time for bed now... as soon as I finish exploring this island.
10:23 AM
Woke up after fitful dreams of being eaten by Jello. My Cocoa Puffs remind me of fish bait. Now I've lost my appetite.
12:15 PM
I found Tingle, and he's not as creepy as I thought. And I was ready to try to kill him with my sword, too.
1:05 PM
I've beaten two dungeons. Must find more.
4:30 PM
Am hungry. Couldn't go get food. Yelled to parents to make me some and bring it up.
4:31 PM
Decided that I wouldn't get food through a closed door. Told my dad t saw a slit in the bottom and slide my food through it.
4:33 PM
That's going to take too long. I'll have to gnaw a hole in it myself.
4:35 PM
Tongue splinters aren't worth it. I'll just go hungry.
Sunday 65:99 HG
Tingle told me to go kill my parents. I went and got a knife, snuck up behind my dad, and remembered I forgot to save. I went back to my room and played some more Zelda instead.
6:23 PM
I am legion, for we are many.
6:25 PM
Wait, if I'm (we) are part of a collective, doesn't that mean multiple electricity bills? Screw that!
Blargle:Loogie PM
Gringle tugnic forjher zee grannuurke. Eefn' Kah'lfeen... (goes on for a page.)
Monday... or is it Tuesday? Anyway, it's still daytime.
I've discovered the meaning of life! It has something to do with nuclear reactors and the color grey. Every time I think I have it, I go to write it down and forget it until I go back to asking the townspeople in Zelda. They're quite talkative, you know.
Still daytime
Link told me that people taste like purple. I don't know how purple tastes, but Link's left-handed, and so am I, so he must be right.
Dusk. Sort of.
I blacked out and just woke up. I was holding a stick and a paper plate, and has blood crusted in my finger nails. I had to wash it off of my hands to I didn't get my controller bloody.
My calendar says that today is Car. It's precisely 4:97 in the morning.
I cut out some red paper hearts and held them over my head for a minute, and then ate them. I have a bigger life bar, I can feel it! Also, I snuck into a store and stole a bottle. Sure, we have some at home, but they aren't worth having if they are easy to get. Also, I cut some guy's arm. He was yelling about how I was crazy and needed professional help. I told him that just because I didn't remember how I managed to get a full size medieval broad sword didn't mean I was crazy, just forgetful. I gave him fifty rupees so he could go to a fairy and get his arm fixed. Geeze! You never think fifty rupees is a lot of money until you've given it to someone who has just had his limb hacked off by you.
I dunno what time it is.
My stomach won't stop crying. I told it that my pancreas was a bitch and wouldn't like someone as acidic as him, but he wouldn't listen. What a dufus. To think that I used to give him food. I can't really pick up my controller anymore, my arms don't seem to want to lift themselves up. But it's ok, I can hold it on the floor.
F;LH 2345
Brain feels funyn. No speel rite. Throte hoort. Peeple trying 2 kom N hre. Hahahh. Dore loked. Uh O. Broke dore. By bye.
Day 8 8:15 PM
How did I get in this room? This jacket really makes my back itch, but I can't move my arms enough to itch it, so I ram myself into the wall really hard and yell.
10:20 PM
Man came, gave me little pill. Tasted good. Me sleep now.
posted by Slade at 12:43 PM
I'm going to have a new comic done by tonight. I got the mirror shield, but I'm getting the inkling that there might be less dungeons than I thought. I was hoping for about seven or eight after the initial three. Yes, it's a pattern in Zelda games, but that's a good thing. I love beating dungeons. They are the best parts in Zelda games. Sure, I can sail around on my boat for three hours just exploring, but then I want to go solve a ton of huge dungeons. This is the GameCube, here. I am entitled to lots and lots and lots of puzzle solving.
posted by Slade at 8:54 AM 
Friday, April 04, 2003
