Hoo ah! Yes folks, it's done. Click here to read my latest installment in the inane, Frank the Duck. Go to the brand new Miscellaneous page to learn more about it, and find stuff you may have missed. Note: it's in Power Point format, and is zipped up to conserve server space.

Note the copyright notice at the bottom of my site now (pretty keen, huh?) And this may be all for a few days, considering how long it took me to do this stuff. Go check the stuff out! It'll last you a while. Tell me what you think when you're done, too.
posted by Slade at 12:43 AM

Do you know what I heard? Our greedy, corporate, war mongering, hick of a president is thinking about going to war with Syria now. Because they have "weapons of mass destruction." To this, I say: "Hey, asshole, you can't just go around attacking everyone in the Middle East. Eventually, the rest of the world is going to get so pissed at you that they all impose sanctions on you. Oh, and I think that you should find some of the supposed weapons in Iraq, and then ask the nations the US is allied with to disarm their weapons too. What's that? They don't matter? Does that mean you don't feel India has sufficent natural resources for you to plunder? Or that the corporations are only paying you to take out the Middle East? You're lucky this is hypothetical, or I would have shot you right about now. In the face with a .357. You wouldn't be such an asshole without your head in one piece, would you? But actually, you'd probably manage to get my clothes bloody on your way to Hell."

This shit makes me so fucking angry. I wish there were enough intelligent people in this country for me to get riled up to kick Bush's ass. Of course, then all the denim & cowboy hat wearing people would believe him when he went on the radio claiming that we were really Islamic terrorists, and were fighting against democracy. And then he'd have his ass buddies in Congress let him pass laws allowing a police state to be legal. Then, the second amendment would be repealed, and the NRA dubbed un-American. They would then riot and loot everywhere, as my guerrila force began a take over of all of the major news broadcasting stations. I'd have already been spreading the news to the NRA about Bush, of course, and when he tried to take away their guns, they'd be happy to follow me.

I'd have taken precautions, of course. I'd always carry a fully automatic UZI around, with plenty of ammunition. In order to remain free of the corporations' grasp, I'd have to make sure no one knew me at all. Every person would meet through a contact, and even people I ordered to contact others wouldn't know I was the leader of the revolution. I would live a double life. One as Patrick Dark, physicist, the other as Slade, secret leader of the second civil war. I would have money laundered from many seemingly unrelated bak heists, and use my influence to assassinate the leaders of the corporations. By then, I'd have to infliltrate the White House and assassinate Bush, who would have won re-election from the sheep and election rigging again. He'd get approval to repeal the two term only law, and then postpone all future elections until the conflict was resolved. He'd have finished stacking the Supreme Court, and begin plugging in his laws until the citizens of the USA were living in an totalitarian theocracy. He would set the literacy level to a kindergarten education, so he would still feel superior with his first grade reading level.

But there's always the chance that some other corrupt corporate asshole takes the time to assassinate Bush before continuing the legacy he started. Either way, he wouldn't really last long without the propoganda the news corporations spew out of their rectums these days. Without being able to lie to the people, they wouldn't be as inclined to follow him. Word would get around that he was trying to destroy our system of government, and resistance would gradually try to spread. He'd have the military kill all resistance, of course, and soon no one would be allowed to say anything anti-government, lest they be executed quickly. My guerrila soldiers would take out many, of course, as most of it would consist of gun-nuts, and the US military has shown that it's completely unprepared to fight soldiers that aren't in uniform. This whole thing could be changed, I know, depending on how actions vary, the fact that I do not possess unlimited resources, and that I probably haven't predicted things accurately.

Anywho, I'm going to bed. Peace.
posted by Slade at 12:16 AM

Work is progressing on my power point presentation. I love being able to just do something completely crazy and different every now and then. Also, you'll be getting a treat: It's going to be quite long when I'm done. And I was thinking that I could split it into different parts, but then I thought "Nah, I'll make myself look like a nice guy by pretending that I was planning on splitting it up, so people think it's about quality, not quantity. Fools!" So there you have it. If I can remember what I wanted to write about, I'll do that tonight.

Also: I went to the mall yesterday, and got Eternal Darkness for my GameCube, the eighth Wheel of Time book, and Everything's Eventual by Stephen King. Woo!
posted by Slade at 1:37 PM

Today we had to go to the funeral. I really hate them because I have to spend an extra hour looking at a dead body and looking sad when I'm really OK. To top it off, the minister began going on about how Jesus is our savior and it's the only passage into heaven and all that jive. Now, when you're someone who happens to have refuted the Christian mantra, and has been reading 1984, you happen to get more than a wee bit irked when they start on that stuff...

Ah, shit. I can't do it. Between getting home, playing Tomb Raider:Chronicles, and doing the thing I've been working on, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to say. I don't know if it'll ever come back, and I know just starting to write on the topic didn't kick my memory into working again. Damn it. And it's almost time for me to get some shut eye, so nothing's even coming to mind to go off on a tangent about.

Well, the Power Point presentations I made in school were either transfered using the wrong protocol, or are corrupt. Either way, the outcome is the same: I can't edit them and put them up. However, I did end up starting a new one. It'll be interesting to see what happens when my creativity spurs from Coca-Cola and sloppy joes. And, I've started to fix my archives, and when I'm done, there will be a copyright notice on the bottom of my page. Joy! I'm still really pissed about forgetting about what I wanted to say in my update. Damn. My mind is a complete blank on the subject...
posted by Slade at 12:20 AM