So, like... Blog

Hey, I got my SAT scores back yesterday. I pulled a clean 1300. Go me! I'm also looking into buying a black fedora, but have you seen the prices on those things? It's criminal. Unjust. Capitalism at the expense of the consumer. It's like when some twirp charges you twenty dollars for a single glass of lemonade, except you can't beat the kid doing the selling up for extortion. Case in point: The cheapest fedora I could find was $80! I saw a top hat for $225. Is it just me, or is $225 not worth it for a frickin' top hat. There was a $250 dollar bowler too. Did Charlie Chapman honestly play that exuberant amount of money so he'd look more comical when he wiggled his mustache? Somehow I don't think so. Sorry, but this is as far as I'm going on the subject. I'm just showing my findings. What I really want to talk about today is my website.

I need a change. Something to draw readers in for those ten seconds a day before they realize that I'm just rambling incoherently again. Something new. Something fresh. Something to appeal to a larger audience. What? No, I'm not going to change my color scheme to a screaming pink. I need a new title.

See, when you see "So, like... Blog", you think "Eww! Another person trying to eek out their little niche of the internet with horrible spelling and rambling about things no one cares about.", not "Hey, here's a person who writes, draws, makes comics, posseses some arguable talent at writing humor, and constantly complains about things no one cares about." Just so we aren't confused, I'll rewrite that first paragraph as if I was you're general blogging person on the Internet:

Yo! Wutz ^, PPL? LOL! i got ym SAT scorz bak lst nite! i got a kicka$$ 300!!!1111 W00000!!!!!! i'm aslo looknig 4 a black hat, but haev U seen teh prices N them things? it's relly realy bad. Seelrs suck. I mnea teh cheepst hat I foond wuz $*0! a top h@ wuz 225$!!!!11 that rlly sux. Srry, ppl, but I dotn feal like righting nything ealse. ~_'

I think you can see the difference. I know MS Word can. It's good at sniffing out the "smacktards," as Yahtzee calls them. In fact, it kept trying to correct me every three letters. Stupid microsoft. Now you're trying to control how I write? I'll get you! Did you see that? I didn't bother capitalizing your name! Ha! (Note: It did indeed notice it; as microsoft has those red squiggly lines underneath it.) Anyway, now I need to come up with a good title for my website. For that, I have a few options. First off is just saying what I do. That's easy, but my title would then be "Creative Complaining." Straight to the point, but it seems to be lacking something. Character, for starters. And "Guy who runs struggling humor site off of his friend's web space because he's poor and doesn't feel motivated to excel when no one cares." is a bit too long, don't you think? Also, Slade's Website kind of lacks any thought or uniquness, too. So those are out.

I can just randomly pick different parts of words and see what I come up with, such as "Elephantasmical Mogophobia", or "Bicentaurian Meltdown", but the first one, while rolling off of the tongue nicely, sounds like a mental disorder where a man hallucinates that he's a microscopic pachyderm while running from ants, and the second sounds more like an episode of an Anime show starring mutant pigs that wield futuristic weapons but are blasted back to New York City in the 1800s to fight centaurs that are invading the world through a hole to another dimension. Hell, that kind of writes itself, doesn't it? But that still doesn't seem to fit my web site. How about "Yaks, Guns, and a mysterious capering indonesian named Ralph."

Well, while I'm going for extreme absurdity, why not the "Official I love George W. Bush Fan Site," or "How to Build a Nuclear Warhead From Parts in Your Own Home," or even "Bargle Nargog Masha-dorniltransy." While I do know the basics of building fusion/fission bombs (my uncle is a nuclear engineer, and the info is de-classified now), I obviously hate Dubyah with the bottom, top, and middle of my heart. And that last title is just plain gibberish. Here are some more ideas: The Webpage Of Slade (it's kind of lame, but does sort of have it's appeal, except I couldn't use "So, like... Webpage" as a title instead), Cybernetic Goats (I've frequently scoured the internet for any scientific progress on this subject, but haven't found any. This would go better as a .com anyway. In fact, that would be awesome, but I don't have money for my own dot com. Such is life.) Too Much Right Brain, maybe... but then I'd be making it sound like I was more creative than I am, I think. That's the problem with modesty, eventually it becomes self-deprecation until you can't judge yourself at all without putting yourself down. Meh. Well, we're all out of time for today, folks. Tune in tomorrow for another exciting edition of... whatever the hell I'm going to call this thing. Feel free to e-mail me with suggestions, because I'm at a loss.

Also, download Zero by Smashing Pumpkins if you haven't, and if you're feeling really adventurous, get Heresy by Nine Inch Nails. I think I'll try to finish my Contra Comic tonight. Yay!

posted by Slade at 8:41 PM

The slowly creeping pustule-filled Satan spawned infinitely tentacled Bess the watchdog has discovered Blogger. Bess is our school�s blocking system, and while it is quite easy to circumvent, it will make my updating from school quite annoying. Blogger is the web based web-site publishing tool I use to make my life easier. So now you know.

At any rate, I will be postponing my RPG until I can find an engine that uses a different sound system, or until I can get a new new sound card. It seems that my $60 was a complete waste, as first the sound card was a dick and conflicted with my SCSI card (for you techno-people, it would not, under any circumstances, share an IRQ, not let me change it. It also caused the computer use the incorrect drivers for our zip drive, and made our scanner not work.) and now the computer does not even detect the card in any slot, even though it will detect everything else just fine, in the same slots. I feel that I have one of the worst computers in the entire world, possibly worse than ChefElf�s.

In other news, I have Contra Comic 11 most of the way finished, my L&E thing really close, and I may possibly put forth a philosophical discussion later. I also am level 24 in FF3 (The real one, not FF6). Also, my friend Alex recently bought the trenchcoat Neo wears in the Matrix movies (it's just a basic black trenchcoat, except the tail goes down to the floor). And while I feel that Reloaded was lackluster at best, Alex manages to look quite spiffy in it. Hurrah to everything.

posted by Slade at 12:14 PM