So, like... Blog

Ah, school. Yet another year of insecurity, raw seething hatred, and immature dickwads. There's nothing I look forward to more than having to go to bed at 10PM and wake up at 6:30AM the next morning, have to worry about what I wear, spend thirty minutes on a bus, and then spend the next six hours with 500 people I either don't know or despise. While I could go on and on about all of these people, that would take entirely too much time, so I'll give you some descriptions of the most noticeable today.

Me: Average height, sports a black T-Shirt and blue jeans every day. Has acne, is forced to wear glasses, and is often referred to as being "really smart" by his peers, much to his dismay, being humble and all. Oh, and he has longish brown hair that grows ever so slightly longer each day.

Some Kid: He's much shorter than me. I don't know his name, and he doesn't have much of a description except his T-Shirt today. It was white, about six sizes too large for him, and had a picture of a rottweiller on the front with the caption "Rottweiller." Who the fuck needs a caption underneath what the dog is. If you've been living under a rock, you may not know what breed of dog it is, but you probably don't care, either.

Tail Kid: He has that ever laughable hairstyle, the Tail. His hair is really curly, and it's cut short, except for that poodle's ass on the back of his head. It looks phenomenally retarded, and since he's a lower classman, and I'm a senior, and strange, I refer to him only as the Tail Kid. He told me his name once, but I stopped him, because I'd still just call him the Tail Kid and forget his name. I did.

Vest Kid: I've never interacted with this guy, as I probably wouldn't be able to keep a straight face attempting to do so. He wears jean shorts, some sort of Hawaiian shirt, a bucket hat, and a vest, every day. He also weighs 250 pounds easily and his visage emits a stupified expression constantly. He's a fashion statement, all right.

Annoying Dickwad: I know his real name, but since most people are kept anonymous on this site, I'll omit it here. He's loud, obnoxious, wears jeans and polo shirts, and a visor sideways and up-side down quite frequently. I also secretly envy him because he is so outgoing and I am not... actually, I just hate him because he's a dickwad.

GC Girl: She is always wearing a Good Charlotte T-Shirt. I would shoot her down, using lots of sophisticated language, articulating every part of why any person with a soul should hate Good Charlotte, but she's rather large, and could probably kick my ass. She is almost as bad as...

Blink 182 Girl: I think her name would be a large clue as to what irritates me about her. At least GC Girl's band doesn't have an amazingly annoyingly whiny voice for a lead singer. But it's still pop-rock.

The Obnoxious Skater: He acts as if he hasn't achieved the mentality of a sixth grader yet, always ready to put down everyone who isn't exactly like him. He also thinks his lacking humor is hilarious, and always laughs at his own jokes. For example, he sees one of the many fat and ugly girls that populate our school and says "Yeah, she's hot!" And then laughs at his own cleverness. I'm hoping I can beat him up some time this year, just so I could have at least one fight under my mild mannered exterior. Hey, it's for a good cause.

Ninja: He's not really a ninja by a long shot, but he can do vertical leaps of roughly three feet, which happens to be 3/4ths of his total height. We really call him that. He delights us by jumping our school's railings and landing on the grass below. He's also about as white trashy as one can get without going to Remsen or Westernville (Two seriously Hickville towns. They make Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel look normal.). He wears the same shirt, pair of jeans, and a black hoodie with the word "Dragon" in neon green on the front, and he talks as if he's retarded. I would link you to a .wav of my impersonation of him, but I'm entirely too lazy to record it. Just to keep things in perspective, one time, his parents were driving, and swerved to kill a deer. They took it home, cut off all of it's limbs, and hung it from a rope in their front lawn. He'd go punch it when he got off of the bus. I wish I were joking, believe me.

Computer Guy: My best friend at the moment, he recently joined the Army reserves to get a free scholarship to college. He's come back 30 pounds lighter, with a shaved head, and a stronger distaste for the American Government than he had before. He shoots up daily with Evercrack, and is about the only other intelligent person in my school. Nah, there are other smart people, he's just the only one I really know. Oh, Nirvana is his favorite band.

Big Fat Guy: This guy is a real prick. He attempts to intimidate people with his enormous girth, and always tries to get into fights. He's about 6 feet tall, 300 pounds, with a shaved head. He also makes errors when trying to recite old video game information. I was wearing my 8-Bit Metroid shirt, and he said as I walked by "Ah, Metroid, released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1994." I was forced to correct him, reminding him that a.) He was talking about Super Metroid, and b.) Metroid was released in 1984. What an amateur.

Well, that's all for now. Per request, I'm going to make another hand-drawn comic some time in the very near future.

Oh, and my great aunt is now playing her messages on her answering machine and then talking to them like the person was really on the phone. I kid you not...

posted by Slade at 5:39 PM