So, like... Blog

John and Mary are conversing quietly in the corner of the room during Stan's huge dinner party.

"Did you hear about the boss and his secretary? I hear they sneak off every night and-" Mary peers around, scanning the crowd for listeners. Deciding that no one will hear her, she finishes her sentence, voice noticeably lower. "Play bridge!" John opens his mouth to reply, when suddenly, from out of nowhere, Ben jumps in and steals the conversation!

"Speaking of bridge, I love to play solitaire." He replies slyly. He zigs from bridge quickly into solitaire, his true passion, zags back to his social life, and his new significant other. There's no chance to interrupt! It looks like he's going to make it folks! Wait! What's this? WOW! Bill has jumped in, leading the discussion into nuclear physics! He dashes along the sidelines to general science, into biology, and then to his dog's bowel problems! WHAT?!?!?! I've never seen this, folks! Ben has snatched the topic directly into his drinking problems, and runs for his best friend's cocaine addiction! Will he make it? Can he go all the way? The other party goers have gathered around, bets have been placed. Can Ben make it to his wife's back aches? There he goes! Beets, his wife's favorite foods, his wife, her back problem! GOAL! Yes! He's done it! He has won the conversation! It's all over! The victor spikes the words with some quick slang, and the losers walk away in disgust. The bitter taste of defeat and cheap liquor heavy in their mouths.

Are [I]you[/I] tired of meaningless conversations that you are forced to drudge through every day? Can't seem to get your dense co-workers to go from the weather to a discussion on the theories of temporal mechanics? Constantly being irritated by the useless drivel that pours from everyone's faces every day of your life? Tired of trying to meet new people, only to fail due to your lack of ability in small talk? Do you often wish you could somehow join the "talkers", despite your lack of and negative attitude towards being social? Why bother? Call 1-888-555-TALK to be instantly^* connected to a live operator working for The New Art of Conversation. Yes, you too, can become one of the thousands finding new entertainment in conversing with their friends. This fun and exciting new sport is quite simple.^**

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posted by Slade at 9:05 PM