Get this: Today was the start of a massive band of lake effect snow that caused white out conditions early in the morning. See, Mean Mr. Northwest Wind occasionally feels it's necessary to blow across the warm(er than the inland temperatures) waters of the Great Lakes, namely Ontario and Erie. When the grumpy old bastard does so, the mixture between the warm and cool air creates snow. Lots and lots of snow. Like, 6-18 inches of snow in one night. So of course, the highwaymen (the guys who run the plows, not brigands), didn't bother to snow plow anything despite the weather until everyone was already on the roads. Ergo, a man got stuck in his ditch. However! he wasn't Shit Out of Luck, because Fortuna graced him with a woman in a pickup truck with a tow-wench on the front. She began to pull him out when she was hit by another car that couldn't see her do to low visibility.

What the fuck? This woman gets killed for trying to help a poor guy out of a 200 dollar five foot towing fee? I'm going to have to send a letter to God about this. I mean, c'mon! What are You trying to pull? You get people assassinated for helping each other out? I'm getting mixed signals here. I used to think Your teachings were a little confusing before, but that's just plain fucked up! What are we supposed to do, stop loving and helping one another now? I suppose the new way to get into heaven is by killing thy neighbor while coveting his wife and cheating on your wife with your neighbor's husband?

Jehova Yahweh:

I regret to inform You that the people of Earth (hereby referred to as "we") are canceling our subscriptions to Paradise due to volatile changes in business practice. Your constant misuse of Your godly powers has disgusted me and many of my colleagues, so we will be forced to withdraw our reserved places next to Your divinity. As Your power comes from Your believers, You are also ordered into Universal court
under charges of:

A.) Gross misconduct unbecoming of a Supreme Being.
B.) incompetence in said position such as ignoring prayers, letting Ethiopians starve to death, allowing incarnations of Evil such as George W. Bush to walk the Earth clad in the skins of Republicans, and not firing Conan O'Brian.
C.) General spread of confusion and lies among the people of Earth with dogma such as the"The Bible," and "The FOX Network."
D.) Impersonating Jerry Garcia.
E.) Creating Humanity as a destructive sentient race bent on eradicating all other forms of life in favor of it's own.
F.) Consistently inconsistent teachings and doctrines.

You are to be put in jail under a fine of 9,000,000,000,000,000,000 Euro until a trial date can be set. If convicted, you will be stripped of all godly powers, replaced by a subordinate chosen by a jury of your peers, and forced to live as a mortal pregnant female with Multiple Sclerosis until you die, where your soul will be recycled and reincarnated like everyone else's. You must obey this summons under pain of eternal existential damnation.

Thank you for your time:
We, the people, represented by Slade.
posted by Slade at 8:31 PM

Well, I haven't been able to think of anything to write about (Ok, I'm lying. I haven't felt like writing anything lately.), so here's a new low res comic for j00.

Oh, and Tuahan hooked me up earlier with this neat website that takes the content from one site and mixes it with the layout of another. My site + microsoft content = seriously fucked up. You can fool around with it for yourself here.
posted by Slade at 8:19 PM